Many of us believe we’re owed something simply because we’re alive. We tell ourselves that we are “owed” this or that and if we don’t get it, it’s so and so’s fault. They got in the way of me getting what I’m owed. But, here’s the thing, you’re only promised life’s only 4 guarantees.
Often, we get stuck in a pattern of thinking like, I deserve a happy life, but my ex won’t leave me alone. I deserve a new car, but my boss won’t promote me or give me a bonus even though I work harder and longer hours than anyone else.
It’s much easier to look outside ourselves to place blame rather than to look within ourselves to see if maybe it’s us. Talk about bringing more suffering into our lives, to continue to look externally as the default direction to look when things go wrong does just that, and it does it exponentially.
Either way, we often fall into this trap and believe that it’s some outside force or something “out there” that got in the way of what we’re owed.
I’d like to look at the “who” is owed something, and what makes us think we’re owed something. That might be a better topic for another video.
I don’t remember when or where I came across them, but when I first came across these 4 guarantees, I thought, wow, these are pretty dark. I sat with this list for a while before it became clear to me that these are, really, not dark at all. They’re quite liberating, actually.
Because once I accepted those very few things in life are guaranteed, it helped the old me let go of all our made-up expectations of what I thought I deserved.
Because once we accept that very few things in life are guaranteed, it helps us let go of all our made-up expectations of what we think we deserve.
These are so obvious once you hear them, but once you accept them, it will ease some of our suffering. Let’s get into Life’s only 4 guarantees.
1. You Were Born
You, me, and everyone who physically exists in the world were born. Even the person who designed the device that’s playing this audio, was born. My dog, Harley, was born. The spider you want to smash when you see it was born. You, listening to this were born. So, life’s guarantee number 1 is that you were born. Can’t really deny that. Okay, so on to number 2.
2. You Will Get Sick
Some of us are born sick, and others go years without getting sick, but sickness will come for us all at some time or another. It can be something as minor as a sinus cold, or as severe as terminal cancer. Knowing that we’ll get sick at some point in our lives allows us to be okay with getting sick and not freaking out because we’re sick.
This takes work to understand and until it’s experienced, it’ll be easy to deny this guarantee. Rest assured, at some point we will get sick. Life’s guarantee number 2 is you will get sick. Let’s move on to the number 3.
3. You Will Grow Old
No matter if it’s a short life of a few heartbeats or a long life, we grow older. As hard as we might try to look and feel young as we age, we will get old. We do things to our bodies to have an external appearance of being young, but we still know we’re getting old. We can do all sorts of things like run marathons in our 70s, eat a raw diet of whole foods, and exercise our bodies so they’ll stay strong, but it doesn’t stop us from growing older.
All those things could help us experience our life in an easier way because we have the strength and energy to do what we need to do. We can grow older and enjoy the process of the things that we do to stay healthy and as strong as we can be and they can make us feel as though we’re younger than our actual age. If you cling to staying and looking young it will bring more suffering to your life. Our bodies are meant to grow old.
When you accept that you’ll grow old, it brings a sense of relief. It’s okay to have grey hair, it’s okay to have new wrinkles show up when you smile. This doesn’t mean that we just give up and retire to a room and stare at the wall until we get to the 4th guarantee. We don’t stop living, but we will grow old
4. You Will Die
It comes for all living things, you can’t escape it. We can deny, turn away from, and try to ignore it, but it’s coming. My mom died. My dad died. My kids will live a part of their lives after I’m dead. The upside of this promise is that a great reminder to live fully, deeply, and most of all, in the present.
This promise cornered me when it seemed I needed it most. I denied it, turned away from it, and definitely tried to ignore it. When I was younger, I fell in love with the hustle culture and at that time it seemed to be the roadmap to the success I was after. What that success looked like? I had no idea, just hustle hard and it’ll show up they say. Many of you listening might see the folly in that logic. Hard work is required for anything worthwhile, but hustling reminds me of that saying, Don’t mistake motion for action. I’d like to share a story about how this guarantee affected me.
Years ago, I was spending time with family (and I was on my phone). I remember looking at everyone and thinking, this is so nice to have time with family. I looked back down at my phone and it struck me that I’m wasting the present moment on something that wouldn’t matter to me in 5 years. I can’t even remember what I was doing or looking at on my phone. And it’s been long past the 5-year mark. But you know what is still there after all these years? My family. My wife. My three children. My aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends. All still here.
One day we’ll be dead. When I consider the 4th promise and that I will die, it’s quite easy to be present with those we love. It showed me how to bring myself back to reality when I get caught up in the confusion of life. So I offer this to you when you become distracted, ask yourself, “Will this matter to me when on my deathbed and looking back over my life?”
It’s good to be reminded of these 4 promises when we veer off track. Life’s Only 4 Guarantees are:
- You were born
- You will get sick
- You will get old
- You will die
I’ll leave you with a quote that I find a nice fit for addressing you will die. It’s from Eckhart Tolle, and it goes like this, “The more you live in the present moment, the more the fear of death disappears.”
“The more you live in the present moment, the more the fear of death disappears.”
Eckhart Tolle
