Just when you thought realization was the final act. Reality never seems to play by our rules.
After the Chase Ends
After my chase ended, the most interesting piece or part was learning how to live in stillness. Because once the perception changed I felt completely in disarray.
I was disoriented. How could one not be after your whole fantasy world that you were living and believed so much in? When you realize it’s all made-up in your head and that’s the reality of the way things are. I felt like the floor was pulled out from underneath me. And for a very long time, I was standing on the floor, like that floor had completely given way and I was standing in this dust and wreckage of the floor.
Meanwhile, as I’m standing there I’m trying to figure out what happened. I remember thinking to myself, whoa, is this it?! Because, if this is it, I don’t want it. Because it’s so different than the story we tell ourselves about what we think awakening will be.
Settling into Nondual Realization
As time goes on and you allow yourself to settle into it, that stillness arrives. Or so, it appears that it arrives, but the reality is that it was always there. It can’t NOT be there.
And it took a long time for me to accept that and to fully immerse into understanding what that is and having no fear of going into it and allowing myself to settle into it.
Once you settle into it, that’s that. That’s it.
